Tearing down Athens, Wv

Okay, a month ago I called Concord. I asked them to send me some information on student loans and they said okay and told me to expect it in the mail within two weeks. That was a month ago. I've called time after time and I guess they've had their hands cut off and are unable to pick it up. Today, I recieved my first bill. After my grants and scholarships paid for my college I owe $5,444.50. So I called and asked about loans a month before I got my first bill and I think that was responsible. If I don't pay my bill by August 14th they drop my classes and I won't be able to go to school. I e-mailed a lady over a stduent organization I'm in to see if I can get her to tell me anything. I guess they want me to pull $5,444.50 a semester out of my ass. I'm sooo pissed off and stressed out right now that it isn't even funny. If I don't have answeres by friday someone is going to die.

Poem I wrote "Dictionary of my heart"

Dictionary of my heart
By: Alisha Bentley

In the dictionary of my heart,
my search for the word love will be true.
After carefully considering all that's right,
the definition I came up with was you.

I've waited so long in my life,
to share my world I consider the best.
After years of searching and not understanding,
the dictionary of my heart will rest.

I believe you will help me,
in all that I try to do.
I believe you will be honest,
and show loves for me and you.

Whatever in our lives that happen,
always remember this for me.
I've never trusted anyone in my life,
and I believe you're the one for me.

In the dictionary of my heart,
my search for the word love will be true.
After carefully considering all that's right,
the defintion I came up with was you.

Writing again

Well, I'm working on a song. I was up half of the night writing it and I decided this morning that I didn't like most of it. So all I have left of it is half of the chours...but anywyas...Everyone alraedy knows how I feel about kaleb at least till something new happens but college...Urgh...I'm scared to death. In a way I don't want to go at all because what if I don't make it. On the other hand I have to get out of this house. I'm almost 18 years old and my mom, who is biologically my grandmother is don't letting me do anything. She is blaming the mistake that my birth mother made on me and it makes me mad because incase she hasn't noticed I'm not her. I wasn't pregnant at 15. I didn't drop out of high school I graduated. I'm not depending on mommy after high school. I'm going to college. I didn't marry early because I thought someone had money and I'm not messing up my life. The fact that she can't see that really upsets me. I mean I understand that she is my mother and she wants to protect me as long as she can but seriously come on. She won't even let me go to town with my boyfriend I mean it wasn't even a date. He needed to go to town to get things to work on his car and she wouldn't even let me do that. However, she will let me go and hang out with my friends and not make me be home till midnight but I can't go to town for an hour or so and come home. I don't hate her and I'm not mad at her. I'm disappointed that she doesn't see that I'm different.

I have the best boyfriend ever

Okay, It's offical. I have the best boyfriend ever. He went to hang out with some of his friends tonight. He left from my house to go there and when he gets there he gets on his friends computer and I instant messaged him and I was like "You're home ??" and he he said "No, I just remembered I didn't tell you goodnight." Now how sweet is that guys. He found a computer to tell me goodnight. Most guys wouldn't have bothered with that but the fact that he went out of his way to make sre he told me goodnight just meant alot to me. Also, I was watching TV before I was going to lay down and I had an away message up and he instant messaged me again. I dunno if he was home already or still with his friends and he told me goodnight agai. I love him. He is everything I need and more. He is so sweet. I've never cried because I was happy till I fell in love with him. It's an odd feeling at first but I feel better than I ever have. I feel like a little kid that just got the best Christmas presnt ever. *Sigh* I love him. He's perfection !!

He's wonderful

Well I have this boyfriend Kaleb. He's just wonderful. He isn't a jerk. He has a heart. He isn't mean to me in anyway less he is just playing around. If he even thinks he has hurt my feelings he says that he is sorry about a million times. He isn't pushy. He gives me my space. He makes me laugh at times I don't even want to smile and we trust each other. When I actually do begin to get a little mad at him he makes me laugh and I just can't stay mad at him. He's pertty much the perfect guy. I would do anything for him and I do mean anything. I would give up everything for him. If he called me right now and said "I'm moving to New York." I wouldn't try and talk him out of it. I wouldn't tell him to keep in touch I would say "Wait, let me pack." and I wouldn't think twice. Yes, I have future plans of going to college, graduating, going to law school, and working for the best law firm out there but that isn't a promise. Don't get me wrong I'm going to go to school and go to law school but if I have to cut back on my career plans to have a family with him I would do it even though I've dreamed of this law career my whole life. You may think I'm crazy and I know it isn't logical at all and if you know me at all this isn't like me. I don't throw around the word love because it means something to me and I love Kaleb with eveything in me. I also like to have things planned out. I'm never care free and I'm never too happy. However, when I even think about Kaleb I feel like a little kid again. He is just everything to me and I know I have been though alot to get to where I am now but it is worth it if I have him. I could lose evrything and if he stood by me through it all then I would still be the happiest person alive. He is my better half.

New to this

I'm not sure what I am doing. I'm new to this. I have a myspace and a facebook but I am really getting into blogging and I just don't like livejournal that well. Therefore, I'm going to see if I can figure out what I am doing and get a pretty layout =)